Apple is doomed because no one wants to wait for anything
Slow and steady wins the race. At least that’s what the Vision Pro team seems to be banking on. And, hey, it’s worked out for Apple on any number of occasions. It’s hard to think…
The Macalope
The Macalope
How Apple learned to stop worrying and laugh at the Microsoft Zune
Apple released its quarterly results last week and tl;dr: numbers make my eyes glaze over, charts just make me want pie, it’s doing just fine. It occurs to the Macalope that younger readers may not…
Apple’s week of exciting Mac announcements got off to a rocky start
Macworld The Macalope shouldn’t have to list his Apple bonafides. His head is, after all, shaped like a Classic Mac. What else does a guy have to do? Get a tattoo? Because I’m not doing…
A day in the life of CEO Tim Cook: The hunt for Diet Mountain Dew
Yes, it is time once again to ask the question, what makes Tim tick? Is it a bomb? Did he swallow an alarm clock? Where is that sound coming from?! IT’S DRIVING US CRAZY! The…
The iPhone is basic and cheugy, no cap, bruh!
We are a month past the introduction of the iPhone 16 and it’s time to review some surprising results for this year’s device. First, what if they threw an iPhone launch and it was not…
Is it really a wearable if you shouldn’t be wearing it?
It’s mea culpa time as the Macalope is here again to talk about Meta, AR glasses, and the icky mess that is humanity. First off, here’s to today’s college kids! When the Macalope was in…
Meta’s vision for AR isn’t based in reality
Everyone is talking about Meta’s Orion AR glasses so the horny one supposes we must discuss them. Yes, the Macalope, like many others, will now give you opinions about how Orion, a device you cannot…
It’s 2024 and Apple’s App Store review process is still broken
It is the year of our Lord 2024. Chappell Roan is taking the world by storm, everyone is trying to make that omelette from “The Bear,” and the App Store approval process is still a…
The iPhone 16 is doomed and it’s all Apple Intelligence’s fault
It is now about 15 minutes after iPhone preordering opened and, yes, the Macalope believes we can say categorically that the iPhone 16 line is an abject failure. Sad. Surely it will be pulled from…
Thinking about buying an iPhone 16 Pro? Maybe think again
At the company’s Glowtime event on Monday, Apple announced new Watches, AirPods, and, yes, new iPhones. The iPhone 16 series is almost here and this year’s crop may leave some people in a quandary. Apple…